A Sweet Villanelle (revised)

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There's nothing like the home I once knew.
A child rolling in sugar and sunshine
swinging back and forth, through air so sweet.

Waking to sing with morning birds each day anew,
to loud growth and silent beauty, pure and fine.
There's nothing like the home I once knew.

Long, luscious pony tails and pony dolls too
Playing, brushing each strand of theirs and mine,
combing back and forth, through strands so sweet.

Fun fashion choices follow me through
late wedding nights, dresses of colored wine.
There's no place like the home I once knew.

Daddy picking me up under a dome of blue,
Mommy hugging me down in bed at nine.
Swinging back and forth, through days so sweet. 

Looking to my sister with eyes open and true,
flashbacks wait for a greeting, patiently in line.
There's nothing like the home I once knew,
swinging back and forth, through life so sweet.

Comments

  1. Professor MillerMarch 1, 2020 at 3:24 PM

    Except for a couple lines here and there, this poem moves with a nice sense of rhythm and purpose. I feel like this will make an excellent poem for your first workshop discussion, and I am adding it to our list. More comments coming soon in class!

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  2. Honey RogoffMarch 1, 2020 at 6:25 PM

    This really is a sweet villanelle! I love the imagery of being young and innocent and just enjoying every moment. It made me feel so at ease and brought back memories from my childhood. The specific example of brushing the tails of pony dolls (I think that was the message) is such a well known memory but represents such a calm feeling. The only stanza that is confusing to me is the fourth stanza. The rest of the poem feels like reminiscing on old memories, but this stanza feels more of a memory from "later" in life.

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  3. SophiaMarch 4, 2020 at 7:15 PM

    The vivid imagery of this poem, as well as its simple word choice, really allowed me to relate to the speaker's fondness of her childhood. Your use of diction is on point, and the piece effectively relays the emotions which your speaker is feeling. The one thing I'd recommend is changing some of the words in order to remain consistent with that child-like tone of voice which you've established from the start of the piece (ex: changing the word as "captivating"). All in all, beautiful job!

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